jiaasjen | (no subject)

(no subject)

Kylo Ren (29)

Na-hah ur su ka-haat. Su ka haru aat. This is a waste of time. We all know why we are here.

Kylo Ren (29)

I'm an acquired taste.

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Tell me what you want.

[He will be even more embarrassed later, but he has already been so honest...]

I want escapism most, I think. To get out of my head and reality and feel something different. But it is hard to let people close, especially when many don't understand my circumstances.

It's always a risk. Though in your case the benefits might outweigh any potential awkwardness. It's just the matter of overcoming your uncertainty.

Rejection was painful before any of this stuff happened. It would be worse now, which makes it scarier. I don't know that anyone would be willing to do such a favor, either.

I could think of one person that might be amenable. After all, it's not every day someone threatens me for the sake of friendship. Especially knowing the risks.

I don't think it's like that. Cassian is just... Cassian. He's paranoid.

The two are far from mutually exclusive.

That might be asking too much from him.

Is it? Or is it easier for you to believe that it is. You are, after all, extraordinarily gifted at talking yourself out of things with a few notable exceptions.

Tell me, Bodhi Rook, do you regret asking for my help?

It could be either of those things. After a certain point it's hard to tell.

I don't regret it.

What makes you so sure of this, then, and yet so determined to shy from something with arguably lesser risks.

Just think about it. After all, the entire point of our being here is intimacy.

I don't know. I don't know his opinion on the matter and whether he'd want to or whether he'd be unhappy or confused about my asking at all. He might have a type I don't fall into.

I will consider it.

At the time I would have likely said yes to anything. I didn't really expect things to be so difficult, but I know it's at least mostly on my side of things.

Maybe.

Sadly nothing worthwhile has ever proven to be easy.

I suppose you haven't had the luxury of being able to snoop. He wouldn't allow it.

That's true.

And I suppose it wouldn't be the riskiest thing I've done ever. Worst that can happen is I need to move out and never show my face again.

Understandably.

Now you're just being melodramatic.

You can't say that for certain. I might be fully committed to the hermit life.

As a reformed celibate I can tell you now that it's overrated.

Reformed, as in you've found someone?

Not in the sense you're referring to.

In what sense do you mean, then?

In the sense that it's been a difficult month and I needed the distraction. It was a good distraction.

Edited 2017-05-09 16:12 (UTC)

Oh.

Well, it is good that you got what you needed.

[After a delay:]

You've helped me a lot already. So if I can ever lend an ear or anything at all, you know where to find me.

That is perhaps the most awkwardly heartfelt thing I have heard in some time.

I'm aware. If nothing else you should come to the restaurant again and help keep our cherry supplies manageable.

Is that bad?

I think I can manage that. There's a spot at the corner of the bar I like.

No. If anything I'm impressed.

Is that so?

Edited 2017-05-09 16:24 (UTC)